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Stylish mumwear. Enlarge for details
OK, so I'm going to do this bit first: I love being a parent. I can see why people become addicted to having babies. Unconditional love, a world that looks brand new, the soul-soaring beauty of your own, uniquely perfect child… What better high than parenthood at its most profound?
Of course the everyday realities are similar to many other drugs: you're awake for days at a time, using up all your money and befriending people with whom you subsequently discover you have nothing in common. The fundamentals are great. The peripherals? The kind the writer of a Sunday-morning fashion column muses upon from time to time? Not so much.
Which brings me to mumwear. Before you get cross, I by no means intend to suggest that mothers are a homogeneous group or should/should not wear certain things. I'm talking about clothes. Clothes that are appropriate for the actual, physical (and it really is physical) task of mumming. Ideally these would be simple, affordable pieces with stylish (but not try-hard) touches. Jeans you can bend over in without them slipping down to reveal your "mumbum" (it's the new builder's), longer-line tops, machine-washable dresses that can take a bit of a beating, but still look great… Am I asking too much?
If it wasn't so easy to find labels getting it wrong, I might think so. It's lemon flipping squeezy to find a tunic that looks like a wrung-out teabag (if you are looking, White Stuff has hundreds) or an infantile print featuring cupcakes or kittens or lone stilettos. Or a necklace made out of buttons. Or a catalogue description of a skirt with so much "personality" you'd think you were taking the bastard out for dinner.
I'm by no means a snob. I'll give most shops a whirl. Cosy, cheerful and practical are not problematic adjectives for me when it comes to clothes. But I'd like to be treated as a sentient adult who didn't wave goodbye to her fashion sense along with the afterbirth.
I have yet to find a "go-to" label for mumwear (if you have, please let me know!) but five years and two kids into the business I have made a few discoveries. Here are some of my favourites…
Curve ID jeans £64, eu.levi.com. These come in four fittings – try demi-curve or bold curve fittings. Mumbum obliterated
Stripe dress £98, chintiandparker.com. Throw over leggings or tights with flat pumps and you're ready to go
Bee necklace £120, alexmonroe.com. A pretty, shortish necklace like this one is a treat
Cashmere wrap £199, meandem.com. Cashmere is more practical than you might think. It's usually (delicately) machine washable and (cool) tumbles a treat. Go longline and wear with a vintage belt, dress, opaques and park-proof boots
Blue dress £47.50, isabellaoliver.com. Remember, your kids will be cuddling up to whatever you wear. Avoid sequins, zips or anything scratchy
Anna bag £195, luluguinness.com. Fashionable and practical. Keep keys, cash and lipstick slung nonchalantly about you
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